.Editor's Keep in mind: The adhering to is the message of a character from Trip Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written significantly regarding specifics of the mission during the course of the month I have actually been actually right here, mainly for two factors: the first being that there has actually been really little bit of time to carry out that sort of creating, and also furthermore, since I am actually not sure exactly how comfy I am actually sharing thought and feelings I provide family and friends with the rest of the globe.Well, obviously the globe altered today. What I mention or carry out is very slight compared to the implication of what happened to our nation today when it was actually struck through ... through whom? Terrorists is actually all we know, I presume. Hard to understand at whom to drive our temper and worry ...I had just completed an amount of duties this morning, the best lengthy being the physical exams of all workers members. In an exclusive chat observing that, the air travel doctor informed me they were having a very poor time on the ground. I had no suggestion ...He explained the situation to me as ideal he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually astonished, after that terrified. My first thought and feelings was actually that this wasn't a real conversation, that I was still paying attention to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply really did not appear feasible on this incrustation in our country. I couldn't even think of the details, also before the information of more devastation started coming in.Vladimir came over pretty rapidly, noticing that something incredibly major was being actually reviewed. I swung Michael right into the element too. They were likewise amazed and stunned. After our team authorized off, I attempted to discuss to Vladimir and also Michael as finest I could the prospective immensity of the show of horror in midtown New york and also at the Pentagon. They precisely understood as well as were quite supportive.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the pc to observe where over the globe our experts were actually and also noticed that we were coming southeast away from Canada as well as will be actually skipping New England in a handful of moments. I whized around the station up until I discovered a home window that would give me a viewpoint of New York City and nabbed the closest video camera. It occurred to become a camera, as well as I was appearing south coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke appeared to possess an odd bloom to it at the bottom of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the area. After checking out among the news articles our experts just obtained, I think we were taking a look at NY around the amount of time of, or even shortly after, the failure of the 2nd tower. Just how dreadful ...I panned the cam during the East Coast to the south to find if I can view some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, yet nothing at all showed up.It was actually pretty complicated to think of work after that, though our company had some to perform, but on the next track our company traversed the United States further southern. All 3 people were actually working a couple of electronic cameras to attempt to receive perspectives of New york city or even Washington. There was haze over Washington, yet no specific source might be found. It all appeared extraordinary from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't picture the tragic scenes on the ground.Other than the psychological effect of our country being tackled as well as 1000s of our people as well as possibly some close friends being eliminated, the absolute most frustrating emotion being actually where I am actually is one of solitude.Following day ... I suppose the fatigue and also emotional stress obtained the most ideal of me. I could not keep awake as well as remain to compose. Today was actually still tough, but our experts started getting additional information, plus our experts possessed the tribute of talking straight with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, who assured our company that the ground crews would remain to function and also ensure our safety and security, and also the safe procedure of the Place. Our experts additionally heard from our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that included that the partners in the Plan are all absolutely devoted to continuing risk-free procedures and assistance. These were never ever inquiries for me. I understand all these people! The ground groups have actually been actually incredibly encouraging, quite understanding of the influence of the news, as well as have attempted to be as handy as possible. They have actually all been actually really specialist as well as focused though I can't envision the disturbance of the sort of news can be found in as well as the idea that government properties might be in jeopardy. They never missed a beat, even when relocating control centers. And also a team of senior workers as well as friends offered our company a rather in depth briefing on what was recognized and what was being actually performed in the federal government as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was extremely useful as well as sort of all of them to do in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has likewise been actually supporting as well as valuable, trying to uplink newspaper article when our personal possessions were actually unusable, and pointing out kind words ...My crewmates have been actually wonderful, also. They understand it's been actually a tough day for me and also the people on the ground, and they have actually attempted to be as also keeled as well as valuable as achievable. Michael even repaired me my preferred Borscht soup for dinner. And also they provide me a lot of area to assume when I needed it. They are extremely considerate and naturally outraged at whoever would perform this.I know many folks in Washington, plenty of folks that journey to DC and also New York City, so many that are pilots, that I experienced certain I would receive a minimum of a couple of pieces of trouble over the upcoming couple of days. I got the 1st one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Government was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I found Chic during cadet summer months when we were in the D&B together, and also our experts had great deals of lessons together. I can not imagine what he must of gone through, and also right now I hear that he might possess risen even further than we can easily also consider by possibly preventing his plane from being actually the one to tackle the White Residence. What a terrible loss, however I'm sure Chic was dealing with fearlessly to the end. And also splits do not circulate the exact same precede ...It's challenging to define exactly how it feels to become the only United States totally off the world at a time such as this. The feeling that I ought to be there along with each of you, coping with this, helping in some way, is difficult. I recognize that we get on the limit (or beyond) of a horrible switch in the record of the planet. Lots of things are going to never ever coincide once again after September 11, 2001. Not only for the manies thousand as well as hundreds of individuals directly influenced through these horrendous actions of terrorism, yet probably for all of us. Our team are going to find ourselves feeling in different ways regarding dozens of things, featuring most likely area exploration, sadly.It is actually terrible to view smoke cigarettes pouring from injuries in your very own country coming from such a great point of view. The duality of being on a spacecraft committed to improving daily life on the planet as well as checking out lifestyle being actually destroyed by such deliberate, dreadful process is jolting to the mind, despite who you are actually. And the expertise that every little thing will definitely be actually different than when our experts introduced due to the time our company land is actually a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our leadership that our experts will certainly perform every little thing possible to much better protect her and also our households, as well as to bring justice wherefore has actually been actually performed. I possess confidence that the good people at NASA are going to carry out everything necessary to proceed our mission securely as well as return us properly at the right time. As well as I skip each of you quite. I can't exist along with you face to face, and also we possess a long way to visit complete our purpose, however be particular that my soul is along with you, as well as understand you reside in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final character ... The good news is, it is actually been a busy week up below. As well as to show that, like our nation, we are advancing our intended path along with organization as usual (as much as feasible). Tonight the current addition to the place, the Russian Docking Area will be actually launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (United States time), it will certainly dock with our company, at a port never made use of just before on the nadir side of the Service Element. This new module will give us another area to dock a Progression or even Soyuz and will give a big airlock along with pair of able to be used hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which our experts will certainly perform a few of just before our company get back.The issue before in taking care of today was actually too little headlines. The complication today is actually excessive. It arrived at one time when email was actually restored, and also there is actually inadequate opportunity to review it all! Plus it's too challenging to manage all of it at the same time. But I cherish acquiring it, and I really appreciate the fantastic characters of assistance as well as friendly relationship I am actually obtaining.Our team are succeeding on board, obtaining our job done, and speaking about things. Last night our company possessed a long dialogue over supper concerning the significance of these celebrations, the feasible actions to observe, and what ought to be actually performed. After dinner, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he obtained coming from good friends in Russia pointed out especially to tell me exactly how regretful they were that this occurred, extending their condolences, and asking exactly how I was doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian phrase for "condolences" after speaking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Area. (Both the Russian and also the English terms are actually much extremely long to verbalize effortlessly.) Quite type individuals.For the last 2 times, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to transfer real-time shows of broadcast news about the activity as well as linked accounts, to make certain I was well informed. Every specialist that has actually started the line to explain a treatment or even a concern has at some aspect prolonged greetings to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that as a result of the special day of recognition in the US, all day individuals had been delivering blooms and lining all the wall surfaces of the US consular office in Moscow, and this evening they were actually igniting candles in the street outside the embassy. Exactly how the world has transformed.People almost everywhere appear to realize the senselessness and also horror in this particular strike. As well as the enormous loss. Moscow has actually coped with these kind of issues in the last couple of years along with condo as well as train battles, so they are as anxious to eliminate this risk as our team are. But the bottom collection is that there are actually good folks anywhere that intend to stay in calmness. I read that a kid talked to, "The United States is actually so really good to other countries, our experts consistently assist every person, how can they hate us so much?".I hope the example of cooperation as well as count on that this spacecraft plus all the people in the system display daily will sooner or later motivate the rest of the globe to operate similarly. They must!Sadly, our company will not be actually flying over the United States during the time folks are actually lighting candle lights. Do not know if our team can view that in any case. Our team did, nevertheless, see a really unique as well as wonderful attraction a few minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz booster. Our company were actually surpassing it and also it appeared about three mins after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight struck our station, so it was actually still at night. It looked like a large comet with a directly, wide tail silhouetted versus the dark planet below. Regardless of some negative lighting for a while as the sun struck our window at a low perspective, I managed some video clip of it as first our team passed the rocket, and then saw it begin to catch up as it gained elevation as well as velocity. I recorded till major engine deadline and enhancer splitting up developed equally as our company approached sunup on the Himalayas. A remarkable attraction in a memorable week ...Life happens, even in space. Our experts are actually below to remain ... Frank.